perfection in the being
of my being,
that I am
holy in amness
as stars or paperclips,
that the universe,
moving from void to void,
pours in and out
there is a point,
that fills space,
that is plenitude:
a void that is all being,
a being that is void:
I am perfect:
the wind is perfect:
ditchwater, running, is perfect:
I raise my hand
This is my friend Chris, a picture taken a few months ago, in my bedroom one day when he came over to hang out with me. I have known him since 8th grade, when I was 14 years old. I am 21 now, and he is one of my closest friends. He is a loving, extremely friendly, funny, and great person.
The second picture is one I took today when I went to see him, with permission from his parents. It was taken in an ICU about an hour and a half away from where we live.
Last week, he was in a terrible accident. He was driving his truck and hit a blind curve, swerved and flipped over a few times, before being flung out of the truck and it landed on top of him. He has 17 bone fractures, a bruised liver, and two collapsed lungs. He is in so much pain he is on Fentanyl, an opiate more powerful than morphine, and anesthetics. He is also on a ventilator currently. It is predicted he will be in the hospital up to or over a month and then have a long recovery time. He is expected to live.
The problem is, his family is unable to afford the hospital bill, as neither him or them have medical insurance. They do not have very much money and this could drain them financially after something already so tragic. It could affect his schooling- Chris wants to be a nurse, and he may not be able to return to school due to lack of funds.
Chris has always been there for me. He has driven me to doctor’s appointments and emergency rooms when I was in so much pain I could barely walk because of my chronic diseases. He has done so much for me, and I want to help him. I want him to know I will always be there for him like he has been there for me, in any way possible.
I am currently accepting donations for his family and him to help pay the hospital bills. They will go to my PayPal account, be directed to my bank account, and then given directly to his family. This is not a scam. This is not a hoax. You can look at my Tumblr and read my previous entries, you can ask people who know me who can vouch for my honesty.
I just want to help my friend.
If you can donate, please send any donations to firstname.lastname@example.org through PayPal. You can choose to send it as payment and I take the exchange fee, or you can send it as a gift and pay the exchange fee yourself. It is up to you. Even a dollar will help.
If you do not have PayPal but wish to donate a larger amount of money, message me for my address and I will give it. Unfortunately, I can not give out my address for small amounts of money because, as understood, I don’t really want my address going out to every one on the internet. If I get enough interest, however, I might set up a P.O. Box for small exchanges of money.
Even if you can’t donate, please reblog and help me get the message out. It would be greatly appreciated by me, his friends, his family, and every one that loves him. I know this probably won’t get very many notes, because I am not really Tumblr famous, but please, please, help in any way you are able to.
Thank you for reading this, and thank you for any donations. My heart appreciates it more than I could ever explain.
An excerpt from Kylian’s Wings of Wax - NDT performing, as usual.
The music is the stellar Passacaglia in g by Heinrich Ignaz Franz von Biber.
I live in a town where every six months I get the chance to hear a band I’m really excited about, the last one was the Horrors in November, the next one was to be the Besnard Lakes. I’ve known about this for ages, only tonight I realised the show was this past saturday. I just forgot about it… and now it’s all I can think about. It was four days ago! Where have I been these days? How could have I forgotten that?? Now I’ve got to wait another six months before another band I’m remotely curious about comes to town and even then I’ll probably forget to get my ass to the show. Anyway, it’s done, let’s not dwell on it. But I can be so stupid sometimes.
Put everything at the stake. Be a gambler! Risk everything, because the next moment is not certain, so why bother? Why be concerned? Live dangerously, live joyously. Live without fear, live without guilt. Live without any fear of hell, or any greed for heaven. Just live.
The world is meaningless, there is no God or gods, there are no morals, the universe is not moving inexorably towards any higher purpose. All meaning is man-made, so make your own, and make it well. Do not treat life as a way to pass the time until you die.
Do not try to “find yourself,” you must make yourself. Choose what you want to find meaningful and live, create, love, hate, cry, destroy, fight and die for it. Do not let your life and your values and you actions slip easily into any mold, other that that which you create for yourself, and say with conviction, “This is who I make myself.”
Do not give in to hope. Remember that nothing you do has any significance beyond that with which you imbue it. Whatever you do, do it for its own sake. When the universe looks on with indifference, laugh, and shout back, “Fuck You!” Remember that to fight meaninglessness is futile, but fight anyway, in spite of and because of its futility.
The world may be empty of meaning, but it is a blank canvas on which to paint meanings of your own. Live deliberately. You are free.
Last Days - Max Richter
This guy’s stuff is incredible, magical and amazing. spent the afternoon drifting in and out of thoughts listening to his songs. sometimes we forget how powerful and beautiful classical music can be. I surround myself is so much crap sometimes, I forget what a simple piano tune, and violin can do to make a heart skip.
All moments, past, present, and future, always have existed, always will exist. It is just an illusion we have here on earth that one moment follows another one, like beads on a string, and that once a moment is gone it is gone forever.
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